Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
