You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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