Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
