I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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