you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
