Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
