she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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