There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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