the day after is always just damage control
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
