So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
