Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
