I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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