The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
