what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hippo gnu deer
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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