No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
