He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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