Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
