dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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