I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
