it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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