Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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