Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
