You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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