Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
