i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
well you can't waste a boner
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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