Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
