who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
