Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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