Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
