Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
