I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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