I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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