I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
