There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
