Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
