You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
