Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
