i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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