fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
