I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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