i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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