i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
