And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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