I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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