it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
