i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
