well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
