After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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