he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
