This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
