Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
